I was speaking to a friend today and told her that I thought my life was falling apart around me. I complained about my total and complete inertia on the weekends that I stayed home.
For example...I have such a large pile of clothing that needs to go to the dry cleaners that I needed to scramble every day this week for something to wear to work. I had to "save" a suit to wear for a client meeting today. My apartment is a total mess - the worst it has EVER been. And, that's saying something. I adore the friend that said I'm not a slob, this is just evidence of my "passionate living." I don't think that is at all true (especially now), but I give her huge points for positive spin.
So, I was trying to work out why I am plagued by this inertia...am I like the anorexic who doesn't feel in control over other parts of her life, so controls what she puts (or doesn't put) in her mouth? Do I feel so out of control because of my mom's cancer that I'm controlling this environment that I live in? My friend cut me off right there...she said that while that could be the case, she thought that maybe I'm just tired. And, I am making a choice not to do things that I "should" do because when I'm home I need down time. And, if down time is reading, messing around on FB, or doing nothing at all, then that's ok. And, I should stop feeling so damn guilty.
So, rather than thinking about the 500 things I "should" do this weekend, I am going to focus on the thing that I absolutely have to do - get to the dry cleaners. I may need to take out another mortgage to pay for it, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do.
Last thing - I noticed that my last post was on April 1 and I was so happy about the joys of spring and all it means...so my question is - has anyone seen Spring? Been missing around here for a few weeks.